It feels really good to be in our own place again. But I do feel like I need to explain our six month stay... I really don't. It shouldn't matter what other people think and don't understand. Even if I explain it I don't know that it would be clarifying anything. Or if I would in someone elses place justify it either. And maybe no one cares, but I still feel like it should be said.
Staying with Cade's parents was meant to be a transition place. We had heard so much about "right time to buy" and figured that's what we needed to do, buy a house. It wouldn't make sense to rent while looking because we didn't think we would be there that long. We said we just needed about 3-4 months. Six would only happen if we started in a short sale process and it took longer than 4 months, and hopefully it wouldn't take that long.
Things looked good financially...we didn't think it would turn in to what it did. We did want to pay off our credit cards, but we figured that would only take maybe 3 or 4 weeks. But for the first 5-6 weeks Cade wasn't working hardly at all, there was just not a lot of work for him available. Let me remind you we made a move knowing he had a job to go to (he works for his Dad). I on the other hand, quit my job a couple weeks before moving with plans to focus on Health Coaching...believing Cade would be making enough for me to focus on just health coaching. (Boy did I have numbers in my head way off). We found out that I was pregnant just a couple weeks before making the move and right after I quit my job.
In Boise, as time went on and Cade wasn't getting work, I was getting more stressed. Cade is the exact opposite of lazy, he is a hard worker to the definition. I hated how my stress made him stressed. It was a lot at a very bad time. I put a lot on him and expected a lot from him when he was just as unsure and stressed as I was and trying to figure out how to make things work.
I applied to one job that I really wanted...should have done more, I know. Had my second interview with them when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I was bummed not to hear back after that. I thought my interview went pretty well...(despite the seriously bored look on my interviewers face).
By this time in my pregnancy I felt really nervous people could tell and even if they couldn't tell then, soon after they did hire me, it would show and I didn't want to be like, "Surprise! You just hired a pregnant lady and I might be quiting in about four months!"
Cade applied for a few jobs. It wouldn't have worked if he had gotten one...he couldn't have worked a second job and then gone to Utah when his Dad had a project that needed to be done there. And little did we know that that summer would be one of the busiest for projects to be done in Utah. If he had obligations to a second job he wouldn't have received the overtime from a better paying job by working that second job. The balance wouldn't have worked, we tried to make it happen anyways. We couldn't figure it out.
Finally Cade did start receiving more hours and things really picked up. It was a relief but we now realized we needed a down payment on a house if we still planned on buying and we did plan on it. We got our credit cards paid off three months after moving in with his parents. Now it was time to save up for a down payment, we sold our other car, I picked up a few clients through TSFL and Cade started working overtime. We were really blessed! I'm still so thankful for the turn around we had when Summer came.
As we got more serious about buying we realized how incredibly competitive the market was. We wanted to stay hopeful but finally when we had a down payment saved up, a short-sale looked like the only option. Discouraging. We thought to hold on a little longer and maybe an opportunity would present itself. We gave ourselves until September. And we did come by (my) "perfect" house, but it obviously wasn't meant to be and didn't work out. If we would have realized buying a house wasn't going to work out we probably would have been out a month earlier at least.
I hated feeling like we didn't do our part. That we didn't try hard enough and that I didn't try harder to get a job. Feeling like we bummed off of Cade's parents and didn't take more responsibility. I think I'll always be a little disappointed in myself for the way things went the past six months. In a way I wish we would have moved from Utah to another apartment in Boise and both tried harder to get work and pushed through. I would have had no option but to swallow my pride and get behind a register. (Then again, an $8 an hour job probably wouldn't have paid rent, and so we were blessed we had a place to stay while Cade didn't have work).
We just didn't know that buying a house wasn't going to happen and that was the whole point of our transition move in with Cade's parents. I am so grateful for Cade's parents and all the ways that they did help us. They didn't have to. I feel regretful that I didn't do more to help out here and there and be a better guest. But I'll always feel so appreciative and in debt to them for their kindness and help. We sure do love them.
