New Mommy

Longest post of all time, maybe.  It's been sitting as a draft for probably two - three months now?  Being added on a little at a time.  Hopefully it's a little bit helpful to someone and not just me rambling on about my baby.

So!  Anyways....
As months have passed since having my baby, I have found myself going, "I wish I would have known this _ months ago!"
Sooo frustrating.
So for the benefit of my preggo friends, I thought that I should write down all the things I wish I would have known or taken into consideration before having my baby and things that I have appreciated since having her....

What To Expect When You're Expecting was the only thing I somewhat read before having Aleah.  When it came to parenting books...I just thought, it's parenting, no one really knows what they are doing, each child, each experience is different, blah blah...how helpful can a book be?..  I just didn't know what I was in for and what kind of hard it was going to be.
I'm kicking myself.
I will add though, that when I thought about picking up a parenting book, it was overwhelming to know which one to read.
READ EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING.  It can only help you.  In my opinion.

I found the movie "Happiest Baby on the Block" in Aleah's closet, three and a half months after she was born.  I was so mad that I found that movie at the end of Aleah's colic.  Some of the information could have possibly really helped me out.  The second helpful something-- the book Babywise.  Thank you to a couple of friends that recommended to me that book in my desperate for help (and sleep) facebook post a couple months back.  I wish I would have read that before having Aleah and in the first week after for a refresher.  SOOO much good information in that book.  It has been incredibly helpful.  I had no idea that I could have started her on such a simple routine when she was so little.  UGHHHHH. 
I'm not 100% sure, but I do almost wonder if "Happiest Baby on the Block" and Babywise contradict one another in some aspects?  Not sure.  But in my opinion, it's helpful to read as much as you can and then do what you think is best.  So, I still recommend both.  But, if you were to pick only one, pick Babywise.
Currently reading Baby 411 (given to me from Aleah's pediatrician) not a bad read either...it's pretty much about anything and everything before baby comes and I think after....(haven't read very far into it yet).

The "things" that I like...

I have tried three swaddlers...
-The Summer Infant SwaddleMe
-Halo SleepSack Swaddle Wearable Blanket!

Miracle Blanket

-The Miracle Blanket!!

I had the first when we brought Aleah home.  It was alright...but it didn't take long for her learn how to get her hands free.  She became a pro quite fast.

 I wondered if the reason she woke up so much was because she was pulling her hands out and then rubbing her face.  (Now, I don't think that was completely the whole reason...)  So, when she was about three and half months we went to get a new swaddle blanket.  I bought two.  The Halo and the Miracle Blanket.  (I was really looking to win this arm battle.)  The miracle blanket was AMAZING for keeping Aleah's arms in the swaddle.  I still like the Halo, but the miracle blanket took care of our loose arms problem.
...And then about two weeks later we started "sleep training"
and quit swaddling her arms.
Stupid. :)
The poor boy that I could possibly have next...
Just might be sleeping in a couple new pink swaddlers.  

Thermometer..
The cheap sticks you put under the armpit will probably be the only thermometer I will ever buy again.
We bought one of those fancy shmancy digital thermometers (it was on sale and oh so sweet lookin') it was crap.  Crap, crap, crap...crap.  The stick works awesome.

Our baby monitor wasn't the most expensive, wasn't the cheapest either, but I'm pretty happy with it.  So I can recommend the Summer Infant- Secure Sight Handheld Color Video Monitor. We just got it from Walmart, and it was on sale. WIN!

We bought a humidifier.  And I have to say, kind of not really sure why.  Maybe we'll put it to use sometime...but I don't know that it really does much.  I can't say it's the brand because I've never had a humidifier before.  So, I wouldn't put that on my list of top priorities unless you are a firm believer in the power of humidifiers.

Johnson and Johnson Baby Bedtime Bath- Smells delish...but it doesn't help Aleah fall asleep any better.  Bummer.
Same with the Aveeno Calming Comfort lotion..  I would probably just buy the cheaper Sesame Street lotion again.

Diaper Pail over the Diaper Genie.  Just because the diaper pail was cheaper and so far...no complaints from me.  You may not NEED either of these...but if you are living in an apartment and don't have a garage with a garbage for stinky diapers..this is a pretty convenient purchase.

Bumbo. Boppy.  ...I can't figure out which I would rather have.  Both are so helpful!  BUT, you don't actually NEED either, I'm sure you can get by.  We were given the boppy (I just purchased a new cover) and I am currently borrowing the bumbo from a friend.  

Walmart crib...totally good.  As fun as it would be to have the nice $500 crib and set...our cheap little walmart crib has served us just wonderfully.  Sturdy and safe enough (not bad looking either, or at least I think).

Breast Pump-- (if you have to, not all NEED this)...Remember, I pumped for the first eight weeks of Aleah's life until one day she magically latched.
I couldn't do the hand pump, I just couldn't!  Like taking pliers to my....anyways.. 
We got the Medela Swing Electric Breast Pump.  Recommend it, enough said.

Strollers....little bummed that we couldn't buy the biggest and best looking stroller.  But I actually love my $20 little one.  I don't feel like I need a big one anymore and would actually probably find it more of a hassle now.  The only negative so far...no where to put my diaper bag.  But other than that, I prefer it over a big bulky one.

Teething Toy:
None have been better than the one she is chewing on in this pic...she just did not care for all the others we bought or were given.  This one she loves. (Thanks to her Grandma and Grandpa Hansen).

What I wish I would have known:
A LOT.
But just a few....

The hospital stay...I wish I would have known how busy the hospital stay was going to be.  I don't know what I would have done differently exactly, but I wish I would have just known how busy the first day is after having baby.  Like, hey, while you are showing off your baby to your friends and family the nurses still have to do their job.  The nurses will want to know how your baby is doing (tests..shots..), SEE how your body is healing, and make sure nursing is going well (and in my case help when baby isn't latching).  It's just really busy and overwhelming and privacy is out the window, so be prepared...I guess, as much as you can be.  I probably wouldn't have had visitors so quick.  Would have taken more time to let everything sink in and to rest.  But not everyone is like me.

I also wish concerning the hospital stay....I would have known that it's ok to do things my way.  I'm not sure how to explain that.  (Maybe THIS is why you read everything before having baby, oh, I get it now.)  I don't mean to "rag" on the doctors and nurses...I had GREAT help (most of the time).  But I was very stressed out by the different opinions.  One nurse told me to feed Aleah "this" way and the next nurse would come and tell me to do the exact opposite.  Overwhelming and even more stressful feeling like I had no control and was never doing the right thing.  I forgot that I was the MOM and I was the one who in the end could make the decision I felt was best for me and MY baby.  Second baby I hope to be more blunt and confident.  NOT rude, but just more sure and easy at communicating of how I wanted to do or let things happen.

Try to sleep when baby is sleeping.  Stop stressing.  Baby makes a lot of noises in the first few weeks of life while they are sleeping.  TRY to ignore it.  I was googling everything all the time about grunting and any other sound I could try to describe.  In the end, she was fine and I was more sleep deprived. 

This one is maybe a little bit....hard to share.  But, I wish I would have known it would be best (FOR ME) to get back on my anxiety meds the next day.  Long story short, I could have probably avoided a really hard second week (and first month) if I would have gotten back on my medicine.  It's kind of a hard one to plan for, because you don't know how your mental state is going to be after you give birth, but if someone ASKED ME what they should do, I would tell them that if they were on them just before getting pregnant, they might really consider getting on them right after the baby comes.
Don't try to be a hero.
YOU'RE CRAZY!  Accept it.  I have. ;)
Ha...oh boy.
(Isn't there a controversy with Tom Cruise about this kind of thing....and he would totally hate me right now?)
But really, if I had started off right away I think I would have avoided a few really low points.
Something I wish I didn't have to talk about, but, as my old (literally, she was pretty old, bless her sweet soul) co-worker once would say, ALL the time..."It is what it is".  It's apart of me and something I might just always have to deal with, might as well help others if I can.

The last, what I wish I would have known, really isn't anything I could have really changed, I don't think...but it's more what I know now and how I have learned I should help others.  
I hope that I can come out of my shell and be a help to new mothers time and time again.  I needed so much help and received so much help.  

Maybe I sound like a wimp, but I had a HARD three and a half months.  If you didn't.  Well, aren't you a mommy pro.  Go help someone who is having a hard time. :)

I appreciated the "I'm bringing you dinner Thursday, is that ok?" offers.  I appreciated ALL offers, SERIOUSLY!!!  But the easiest help to accept were the ones with a set day, so in a way, I couldn't try to let them off the hook by saying, "I think we are alright this week, thanks for the offer though".  Instead it was more like, "Yeah, Thursday would be great, I really appreciate that!  Thanks!" 

I love the idea of dropping off a healthy breakfast to a new mothers door.  Like, ring the doorbell and leave.  Because sometimes you don't want to see anyone (at least I had those times) & when you are so tired, that's exactly what you need to start your day, a healthy breakfast, not another quick poptart.

Love the idea of going to a new moms house, grabbing a shirt from the mother (for the mommy scent), and then letting her take a long nap or shower or both and rock/play with her baby.  (Thank you blog found through pinterest for that idea).  I understand that some moms may be like me, need to sleep in my own bed.  I can't go to someone elses house and take a nap.  My brain won't let me relax.  I need my own bed.

I hope to help clean the house if that's what is needed.  Tend the other children...Anything else that I think a certain mother needs.

So, if you are a mother, 

what help was offered to you that you apprecated the most after having a baby?  

I'm curious.